Introducing... me!

Hi there! It's been awhile since I introduced myself, so in case you're new here, I'm Tamara. I'm a speaker, coach, and certified happiness trainer!

A lot of people ask me how I got into the happiness business and it's because for a long time, I was deeply unhappy. I could remember a time when I had been happy, but I hadn't felt that way for a very long time.

About 10 years ago, I felt stuck in a relationship that was extremely toxic. I had gone from a confident, vibrant woman to insecure and ashamed. I didn't like who I was anymore and I had let my (ex) husband's voice become louder than my own. I believed it, for awhile, when he told me that I was too loud, that I complained too much, that I ruined everything, that I should be ashamed of myself, that I was a disgusting person. He even told me one Christmas that the song from The Grinch was really all about me.

It's no wonder so many people suffering in abusive relationships don't leave. They don't know they're worthy of something better because they've been broken down by someone who is supposed to love them. But abuse isn't loving.

Luckily for me, there was still a part of me that didn't believe him. My light was dimmed, but it hadn't gone completely out. We humans have a strong survival instinct and mine pushed me to reevaluate my life. I had children, daughters, and I didn't want them growing up thinking that this was how a man was supposed to treat a woman. I had a son and I didn't want him thinking that his father's behavior toward me was acceptable.

As the Universe does, it gifted me with a chance meeting of a woman named Michelle. She was a Certified Passion Test Facilitator. I didn't know what that was, but I remember feeling a full-body tingle and a sureness that it was meant for me.

Taking the Passion Test was the beginning of a radical transformation in my life. I began consciously creating the experience that I wanted and my #1 Passion was to "live authentically from my heart and soul."

Each day, I started choosing in favor of that passion and I began repairing my relationship with myself. Eventually, I was able to gather the courage to leave my marriage and live again. Over the past 8 years, I've reclaimed my own voice, my confidence, and am now one of the happiest people I know, living the life of my dreams. It isn't perfect, but some days it sure feels like it.

It's a gift to be able to work with others who are newly single to help them reclaim their own confidence, hope, and happiness. And this is what I do for a living now. By sharing my experience and the myriad tools and practices that I utilized along my path, I speed up the process from being a sad single to loving life solo for my clients. We unpack the baggage of past relationships so that they can go into the next one a lot lighter. We strengthen their inner voice so that it goes from being critical to supportive. We build the muscles of courage and happiness by taking baby steps and allowing ourselves to feel our natural, human emotions without, or at least with less negative, judgment.

For years now, I've helped people create lives they love. I run a local (to the Detroit Metro area) #Meetup every month, workshops, I speak to local groups and communities on the actions and habits of happiness, and I coach individuals and groups so that they can go from wherever they're starting to where they truly want to be in their lives.

Today, I'm putting my focus on people who are newly single who are ready to consciously create a better, happier life for themselves, whether they were the ones to leave a relationship or the one who was left.

Next Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, I'm hosting a free training on the 3 Keys to Loving Your Solo Life and I'd love to see you there! You can attend via my Facebook Lives in my new group, Rediscovering Yourself...Single by joining here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/5209340529132041/

or via the event, here: https://www.facebook.com/events/723069188881699

Whatever you're feeling today, it is totally possible to love your life and the most important relationship for you to focus on today is the one that you have with yourself. Once you love your solo life, you open up the possibility to create the relationship of your dreams. That next-level love is available to you... but first, you have to love yourself. Ready to learn how?

Join me!

*** I’m so willing to embrace imperfection that I even posted this photo after noticing something in this pic that the former version of myself would have never posted!!! Bonus points if you comment on what it is!

Do You Walk Your Talk?

My integrity is a guiding force in my life ever since the first time I took the Passion Test and realized how out of alignment I was from the life that I wanted and the life that I was actually living.

When I'm choosing in favor of my Passions, I am in alignment. When I am walking my talk, I am in alignment and in integrity. When my words don't match up with my actions I feel discord in my body. As if the parts within me are somewhat out of place. I am my own spiritual chiropractor and so I adjust. Sometimes it takes mere minutes, sometimes days, and sometimes much, much longer. And the awareness is there and the discomfort and discord grow stronger and louder until once again, I take action and make changes so that I feel back in integrity. Back in alignment with my highest Self. With my Passions. With the life that I am choosing to create on a daily basis.

When I am in integrity, my respect for myself grows. When I am living with integrity my love for myself grows.

If you struggle with your relationship with yourself, with loving or respecting yourself, notice if your walk matches your talk. If it doesn't, perhaps it's time to adjust your step and realign. Need help doing so? Reach out. Email me and let's chat. We're meant to feel good in our lives. Integrity is our guide. Let's get you back into yours.

Awareness is where we start...

I’m grateful for this beautiful conversation with the open and authentic, Laura Bender. I love all of my podcast interviews and this one was especially meaningful. Laura doesn’t hold back her own curiosity or emotion and it’s a beautiful thing.

I hope you’ll glean something from our conversation and remember that you can only ever start right where you’re at. That’s where all beginnings begin.

Exploring Conditioning and Personal Responsibility

There are special people in the world who, just by being in their presence, open us up to ourselves. Brian Berneman of The Conscious Action Podcast is one of those people. I had the pleasure of being his guest recently and the conversation was inspiring.

In our conversation, I share my story of how I came to leave my marriage of 15-years. Then, we talk about our conditioning and how to overcome it by taking personal responsibility for our life experience. Plus, so many more beautiful areas of conscious living.

If you’re feeling stuck in any kind of situation and want to connect with the part of you that has the courage to overcome it, I encourage you to have a listen. Then, let me know what you think. Have you been through a similar situation or are you there now? Reach out. Email me. Let’s talk.

Rations of Happiness for Women

Do you agree? Is this true? I was listening to Glennon Doyle's brilliant podcast as I got ready this morning. The topic was on fun, and the fact that so many women have either forgotten their fun in the course of their adult responsibilities as mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, worker, etc... (because our lists are long), or we never learned how to have it in the first place. Are either of those true for you?

I know for certain that I had to relearn what "fun" was after my divorce. I hadn't been "allowed" to have fun in so long that I had forgotten what lit me up from within. I had stopped doing and finally forgotten the things that brought me out-of-body joy. What made me forget everything around me, get out of my head, and simply be in an experience. After my divorce, the Universe provided me with opportunity in the form of friends and I committed to creating more fun and light in my life. Now I have a lot of it on a regular basis. 😊

This quote struck me. Is it true? Will the world only tolerate a happy woman for so long? Do we have to show every struggle and vulnerability to be valid or valued? Do we have to be martyrs? Am I only allowed to be happy now because I stayed for so long in a toxic, abusive marriage? And only for a little while because otherwise it will make people uncomfortable?

What do you think? Does this make you want to drop a few F-bombs like it does me? Let me hear from you in the comments.

Creating the Foundation for A Life You Love!

I'm so grateful to those of you who are committed to consciously creating lives that you love. Each one of us creates a positive ripple that sparks a light within someone else who witness our internal joy. They may not quite know what it is, but they sense something different... something special about you.

The presence of a person who loves their life, who is devoted to themselves is different than those who give themselves away to others. The light within you sparks hope in the hearts of others who know something is missing, but not how to reach it.

Each time you take another step fully into who you are meant to be in this world, shedding all that you are not to be more of who you are, you give permission to others to do the same. More importantly for you, however, is a new level of joy and vibrancy in your life. A deeper threshold to feel the emotions that a full, rich life experience brings to us.

I've spent the past 3 weeks freely sharing the formula for creating a life you love, what helps or hinders that process, shown you how to turn your inner critic into your inner cheerleader, and started you designing your ideal life. If you missed the Zoom meetings, have no fear! We're going deeper still.

Tonight, the doors are officially open! I've selected the most vital pieces of all of the workshops that I've ever run and combined them into a 6-week group Foundations Course. You’ll identify your passions, learn how your mind works against you and how to get it on your side, to turn your inner-critic into your greatest cheerleader, and the breath work and tools to help you find and trust your own inner wisdom and support you on your journey.

This interactive group course covers the basics of everything that I teach in longer programs and 1:1s and gives you a clear foundation on which to build your ideal life. It’s the Passion Test, Happy for No Reason, The Mastery of Self-Love, and Breath-work and Meditation combined into one easily digestible course! 6 weeks, 1 hour per week. If you miss it, replays will be sent out the next day.

What would it be worth to you to look back a year from now, knowing that you made the decision that changed your life forever for the better? When you committed... no... devoted yourself to yourself? When you decided that you were your #1 priority. When you recognized that you are worthy and deserving of a most passionate, purpose-filled, and joyful life?

Sign up between now and Sunday and save $100. Sign up within the next 24-hours and I'll throw in a hardcover copy of The Passion Test book. Refer a friend and get 30-minutes 1:1 with me. Sign-up here. You're worth it. https://tinyurl.com/Cr8withTamara

Self-Talk - Supportive or Sabotaging?

Our Self-Talk makes us or breaks us. That voice in your head speaking to you all day every day is what creates our level of self-esteem. Do we speaking lovingly and supportively to ourselves? Or are we calling ourselves names and bullying ourselves all day long?

In this interview with Rachel Astarte, we chat about self-love and self-talk. I share how I moved from an unhappy, toxic marriage to being one of the happiest people I know and that most people know! If you’re in a place where life just doesn’t feel like you know that it’s meant to, I invite you to have a listen. You’ll learn the difference between happiness and contentment, what happiness really is, and that it is truly in your own hands. Plus, why it’s important to put your attention on your own happiness!

You can learn more about Rachel here!