Love or Fear?

I just finished cleaning the main level of my home. My partner, Mike, comes home after nearly 2-weeks on the road and I want him to come home to a clean, peaceful, clutter-free house that feels good to be in. Now, honestly, Mike probably wouldn't even notice if it wasn't "clean" (to MY standards) and he certainly wouldn't be upset if there was just as much pet hair on the rugs as there was before he left. But I care.

My big moment of awareness just now was noticing how good it felt to clean for him out of love instead of fear. When I was married, I had to make sure the house was ship shape and everything was in it's place multiple times a day or I'd have to deal with anger or the silent treatment, subtly-woven insults, and occasionally broken things. So, I was angry and resented my husband, my home, and even my kids because they were supposed to be perfectly in order, too.

It took years to release the trauma from a 15-year marriage to a highly controlling, angry, emotionally abusive, high-functioning alcoholic and today shows that there are still light layers of it hanging around. But they don't hurt anymore. When those moments pop up, it feels like relief and a victory. Because I've made healthier choices for myself. I've done deep work and it shows up in this peaceful, happy body and mind. It shows up in my partnership where there are two healthy humans doing their work separately and together.

One of the ways we keep ourselves stuck is by blaming our past and the people in it for our unhappiness. For the reasons why we can't be happy now or in a healthy relationship or a healthy body. But the past is behind us and we can always make new choices as we move forward.

If you're living from past pain, I know how to help you. I've done it and guided hundreds of clients to move out of the past and into today, plus, looking forward to create a different, happier, future. If it's possible for me, for them, then it is possible for you, too.

My group program's doors are still open. Let's walk through them together. DM me or visit my website now to sign up.

#healing #groupcoaching #support #divorce #parenting #selfcare

Are You Busy Wasting Time and Energy?

For the last 3 months I’ve been trying to solve an issue with my website’s pop-up/newsletter sign-up. I had two different pop-ups, two different newsletter sign-ups, and two different lists!!! Every time I sat down to write a newsletter, I tried again to figure out how to get rid of the one that was no longer serving my needs. Yet, no matter what I did or where I looked, it still popped up.

Now, I’m a smart cookie and I can usually figure things out. But I couldn’t seem to manage this one. So, finally, my partner walked into my office at just the right time. He’s well-versed in code and building or fixing websites. I mentioned this problem to him weeks ago, but never actually asked for him to look at it for me. Until that moment. 15-minutes later, my problem was solved.

15-minutes. After months of wasting my time and energy in an area that is not my expertise, he fixes it in 15-minutes.

Sometimes, we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t do it all alone. Sometimes, we really do need to call in an expert. Like with websites… or happiness.

How many of you have spent years trying to manage your stress or think more positively, or simply be happier? Yet, year after year the same struggles pop up, defeating you and keeping you stuck.

Maybe it’s time for you to call in an expert.

I have a client, we’ll call her Lisa. Lisa came to me after years, decades even, of struggling with low self-esteem, holding onto and blaming events in the past for her present unhappiness, and anxiety around change. Not unusual, but definitely hurting her on a daily basis and hindering any possibility of the inner peace and well-being that is authentic happiness.

She called in an expert and in just months she was handling life better, coping with change more easily, and feeling better about herself. In a year, her happiness *score went from 37 - which is extremely low and essentially translates to having little or no experience of happiness in life - to 71!!! Which means having a “good measure” of happiness in her life!!! One year!!!

Imagine what your life could feel like one year from now? My clients notice the effects of learning and practicing new habits of happiness within days of starting coaching with me and in months their experience of life is transformed. They have more confidence, better sleep, deeper relationships, and are generally happier.

The path to greater joy, peace, and wellbeing isn’t necessarily easy and we aren’t taught how to “do” happiness… but it is a skill that can be learned. I would love to be the expert you hire to cut your time from problem identified to problem solved down to a fraction of the time that you could do it yourself!

Ready to experience more peace, ease, and joy in 2024? Let’s chat. My 9-month Radiant Happiness Rebirthed Group Coaching Program kicks off this month!!! Book a call with me to see if it’s a good fit for you and know that with effort, commitment, and expert guidance, a happier life is just around the corner.

* Every client I work with takes a Happiness Assessment to “score” their general level of happiness at the beginning and end of their coaching packages.

Relationship Pain Can't Be Healed in A Bubble

So often, when we get hurt in relationships - whether romantic, friendships, or family relationships - we have a tendency to avoid them. What you need to know is that you can't heal relationship pain in isolation. We need to heal the hurt within relationships... and not necessarily the one that hurt us!

Relationships, like every piece of happiness, are a PRACTICE!!! You're invited to come join us over at (Create) A Life You Love, Now! to practice being in relationship with people who want to see you for who you are now, today, in this present moment!!!

When we spend time with people who get to know us as we are now, instead of only with people who know us as who we were 20 or 30 or 40 years ago, we get to BE ourselves.

Take a breath into that! YOU get to be YOU!

In this 3-day event we are going to PRACTICE being ourselves. PRACTICE creating healthy, loving boundaries without the guilt. PRACTICE flipping the script of the Inner Critic, and PRACTICE the art of visualization to turn dreams into reality.

We will practice simply being our true, authentic selves in the company of others willing to do the same. So, join us in the private FB Group (Create) A Life You Love, Now! to start practicing now!!!

#relationships #healing #selfcare

The Ripple Effect of Happy Parents on their Kids & the World

As parents, we all want to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children. While this responsibility may seem daunting at times, there is a powerful tool that can significantly impact our children's lives: our own happiness. Numerous studies have highlighted the profound effect a happy parent can have on their kids, shaping their emotional well-being, behavior, and overall outlook on life.

I've seen it firsthand. Years ago, I was an angry woman, taking out my unhappiness on my young children, often in the form of a short-temper and a lot of yelling. The result was bickering children and tons of whining. When I began to take more responsibility for my happiness, and chose to work on taking better care of my physical and emotional health, and began speaking with loving kindness and respect to my kids, everything shifted. They got along better, listened to me, and responded with respect. Our family life became more harmonious overall. This has continued into their teen years and I am frequently grateful for the incredible relationships that I have with my 3 teenagers. They love spending time with me and we have fun as a family. 

Just the other day, 2 of my 3 kids were accompanying me to pick up my groceries just to spend a few extra minutes with me!!! I told them how lucky I felt to have such great kids and my youngest, who turns 14 in September, said, "That's because you're such a great mom!" I mean, come on!!!! It doesn't get much better than that. 

I have a firm belief that we can create a better world, one happier person at a time. It starts with each one of us individually and then it spreads; it's a ripple effect. Our impact on our kids extends far beyond us, so the more positive of an impact we have, the better, don't you think? 

Here are just 3 (of SO many!) ways that our happiness affects our children:

1. Emotional Well-Being: Children are highly attuned to their parents' emotions, often mirroring their feelings and reactions. When a parent embodies happiness and positivity, it creates a warm and nurturing environment at home. As kids witness their parents' contentment and joy, they learn that happiness is possible and a natural part of life. This fosters emotional well-being in children, promoting resilience and a positive outlook on life's challenges.

2. Enhanced Parent-Child Bond: The emotional bond between a parent and child is crucial for a child's development. A happy parent tends to be more emotionally available and responsive, creating a secure attachment with their children. This strong bond lays the foundation for healthy relationships, higher self-esteem, and better communication between parent and child. When you start practicing happiness in their younger years and form these healthy bonds, it creates the foundation for solid, secure & respectful relationships with your kids through the hormonal and often tumultuous teen years!

3. Reduced Stress: Parenting can be challenging, and stress is an inevitable part of the journey. However, happy parents are better equipped to manage stress effectively. By practicing the skills and tools of happiness, parents cultivate patience and composure, reducing the likelihood of parental burnout and creating a calmer and more harmonious family environment. Plus, as we show our kids to manage stress, they learn vital techniques and tools to get them through to adulthood and beyond.

The effect of a happy parent on their kids is profound and reaches far beyond the household. A parent's happiness sets the tone for the entire family, influencing their children's emotional development, behavior, academic & social success, and overall well-being. By prioritizing their own happiness and emotional health, parents can create a supportive and loving home environment, fostering positive growth and empowering their children to lead fulfilling lives. Remember, as parents, our happiness is a precious gift we can give to our children and ourselves.

If you’re ready to boost and build your own happiness, join me for a free, LIVE, 3-day Training to lower stress and increase joy Augst 7 -9!! Live in my private Facebook group OR you can join me in the Zoom Room!

How to Be A Little Better Every Day - with Zach & Jeremy from The Fit Mess Podcast

I had the best conversation with Zach Tucker & Jeremy Grater from The Fit Mess Podcast a few weeks ago. Some people think fitness comes easy, but it takes effort and dedication. These two inspired me with their ways of looking at life, exercise, and how to harness motivation and make it work for you.

I know you’ll enjoy this episode as much as I did and I’d love to hear (read!) your thoughts.

#podcast #authenticconversations #fitness #motivation #mentalhealth #awareness #consciousliving #wellbeing #wellness #createalifeyoulove

Celebrating 7-Years Divorced!

Do you know what happens to me when I see this picture? I smile the biggest, broadest, most heartfelt smile and I feel so f-ing grateful. 

Facebook reminded me that it's my "Divorcaversary." That's right, I'm ***celebrating*** being divorced for 7 years!!! 🥳🎉 I didn't even remember. I didn't even know what date it was today until I opened up my laptop and went to Facebook. But now that I know, you better believe I'll be making myself a celebratory dinner tonight! 

A lot of people have the perspective that divorce is a horrible thing, but not me. Not anymore. It was the best decision that I've ever made. Certainly, it was one of the hardest, most painful decisions I've ever made, too, but I'm still smiling because I did it. I left a marriage that was slowly killing me and I made my own way. I didn't know how I'd take care of 3 kids as a single mother who hadn't really worked in years, but I did it. 

Now it makes sense to me why #Gratitude has been such a focus today. I woke up thinking about what I'm grateful for. I turned on my yoga series and today's practice was a gratitude theme with a journal prompt to write 25 things, people, or experiences that I'm grateful for, so I did that. Then, at my (Create) A Life You Love, Now! Meetup group's Coffee Connections, I kept that theme going and it was a powerful, beautiful group conversation. 

Now, I'm grateful to the Universe for giving me this gift of keeping my attention on gratitude. I'm so grateful for this reminder that today made final a decision that changed my life and my children’s lives for the better. That's right, the divorce was what was best for them, too. Thanks to my courage in taking charge of my life and my experience, they get to have a mother who is happy instead of angry, loved instead of manipulated, who laughs and plays with them instead of being too exhausted from trying to just get through another damn day. 

I’ll never regret marrying that charming Frenchman, not for a day of my life. I’ve traveled the world, lived overseas twice, have 3 of the most incredible human beings as my children, learned how to cook and plate like a boss, and developed a deep appreciation for food, wine, travel, cultures, and freedom. And choice. And perspective. And courage. And joy. And integrity. I could go on for another 7 years filling this page with every beautiful thing that I’ve learned in the 23 years since I said “I do.” But the very best things in my life have happened since I took a courageous step back toward myself and said yes to me, and yes to divorce.

#createalifeyoulove #authentic #integrity #joy #happiness #divorce #relationships #love

The Gift of Authentic Happiness is Yours!

This week I hosted a free, virtual, 2-hour Masterclass on Authentic Happiness - Creating Greater Happiness from the Inside Out. It was fun, people interacted, laughed, smiled, and left feeling happier than they did when we started.

I’m so lucky and grateful that I get live this life. I feel on fire almost every single day and when I don’t, it’s because it’s time to rest and renew. I get to, not only live on purpose, but work my purpose. This isn’t the case for everyone, but what is true for everyone is that you can cultivate more purpose and meaning in your life, so that it feels more lit up and happy.

I’m gifting this Masterclass to anyone motivated enough to watch it this week. I’ll keep it up through Saturday or Sunday, and then down it comes.

Then, I invite you to book a free call with me - and you can book before you watch it if you know in your heart it’s time for you to take action and create a life you love, now. Click here to schedule your Pathway to Happiness call where we’ll identify your biggest block and your most efficient path toward greater happiness. You deserve it. It’s possible. Give yourself the gift of 30 focused minutes with me to get you on your way with simple, effective steps that, when used, will begin to make a difference in your life immediately.

I’m so excited to hear from you after you watch the class and book your call, so be sure to comment or reach out directly. And feel free to share this with someone who could benefit. We’ll create a better world together, one happier person at a time.