The Ripple Effect of Happy Parents on their Kids & the World

As parents, we all want to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children. While this responsibility may seem daunting at times, there is a powerful tool that can significantly impact our children's lives: our own happiness. Numerous studies have highlighted the profound effect a happy parent can have on their kids, shaping their emotional well-being, behavior, and overall outlook on life.

I've seen it firsthand. Years ago, I was an angry woman, taking out my unhappiness on my young children, often in the form of a short-temper and a lot of yelling. The result was bickering children and tons of whining. When I began to take more responsibility for my happiness, and chose to work on taking better care of my physical and emotional health, and began speaking with loving kindness and respect to my kids, everything shifted. They got along better, listened to me, and responded with respect. Our family life became more harmonious overall. This has continued into their teen years and I am frequently grateful for the incredible relationships that I have with my 3 teenagers. They love spending time with me and we have fun as a family. 

Just the other day, 2 of my 3 kids were accompanying me to pick up my groceries just to spend a few extra minutes with me!!! I told them how lucky I felt to have such great kids and my youngest, who turns 14 in September, said, "That's because you're such a great mom!" I mean, come on!!!! It doesn't get much better than that. 

I have a firm belief that we can create a better world, one happier person at a time. It starts with each one of us individually and then it spreads; it's a ripple effect. Our impact on our kids extends far beyond us, so the more positive of an impact we have, the better, don't you think? 

Here are just 3 (of SO many!) ways that our happiness affects our children:

1. Emotional Well-Being: Children are highly attuned to their parents' emotions, often mirroring their feelings and reactions. When a parent embodies happiness and positivity, it creates a warm and nurturing environment at home. As kids witness their parents' contentment and joy, they learn that happiness is possible and a natural part of life. This fosters emotional well-being in children, promoting resilience and a positive outlook on life's challenges.

2. Enhanced Parent-Child Bond: The emotional bond between a parent and child is crucial for a child's development. A happy parent tends to be more emotionally available and responsive, creating a secure attachment with their children. This strong bond lays the foundation for healthy relationships, higher self-esteem, and better communication between parent and child. When you start practicing happiness in their younger years and form these healthy bonds, it creates the foundation for solid, secure & respectful relationships with your kids through the hormonal and often tumultuous teen years!

3. Reduced Stress: Parenting can be challenging, and stress is an inevitable part of the journey. However, happy parents are better equipped to manage stress effectively. By practicing the skills and tools of happiness, parents cultivate patience and composure, reducing the likelihood of parental burnout and creating a calmer and more harmonious family environment. Plus, as we show our kids to manage stress, they learn vital techniques and tools to get them through to adulthood and beyond.

The effect of a happy parent on their kids is profound and reaches far beyond the household. A parent's happiness sets the tone for the entire family, influencing their children's emotional development, behavior, academic & social success, and overall well-being. By prioritizing their own happiness and emotional health, parents can create a supportive and loving home environment, fostering positive growth and empowering their children to lead fulfilling lives. Remember, as parents, our happiness is a precious gift we can give to our children and ourselves.

If you’re ready to boost and build your own happiness, join me for a free, LIVE, 3-day Training to lower stress and increase joy Augst 7 -9!! Live in my private Facebook group OR you can join me in the Zoom Room!

Uncovering the Blocks to Self-Love

Today, I am grateful to have learned from my daughter. She has wisdom that few possess at 11-years-old. She often asks me random questions about life. This evening as I cleaned the kitchen after our dinner, she was flipping through a Parenting magazine. She looked up from her spot on the sofa and asked me if I knew what she didn't like about transgendered people. The question surprised me, coming from my young sage, and I tensed, ready to preach, but she followed it with, "that they don't just accept themselves as they are." Ah.

So, we talked about cultural conditioning and societal programming (a little soapbox, but she seems to welcome it still). I asked her to imagine what it would be like if she were raised to believe there was something inherently wrong with her, that she wasn't normal. I asked her if she would want to change, in that case, to be "like everybody else." And she said, "No, I wouldn't want to change anything about me, because then I wouldn't be me."

Perfect. <3

Yet, this is the same girl who tells me that she doesn't love herself. Her actions and her other words tell me differently. Somewhere she has picked up the "agreement" that one should not love themselves. That this is ego. She may well have picked it up from me in her early childhood, as I was not mySelf then. So, it is society that tells us we are unlovable; that we are not good enough for our own love, respect, and appreciation. Or, Society tells us that it simply isn't allowed, or ok, to love ourselves. And this is a lie.

The truth is that we *are* love. You *are* love. You can't be undeserving of something you already are. I am grateful to my eldest daughter for being my teacher tonight. And every night.

Tell me, where did you learn that you shouldn't/couldn't love yourself? Be Courage (yes, be "courage") and share. <3

Love and Snowflakes

My son, the youngest of my children, has recently developed a particular wardrobe preference. He's obsessed with wearing shorts and knee-high socks. Because the Michigan weather is not yet shorts-worthy, he has instead taken to pulling up his socks over his jeans or pants (that's trousers for you UK English speakers). Honestly, it looks silly to me... and to my daughters who seem to be embarrassed and annoyed by his choices. They were complaining at the bus-stop, asking me to "make" him take his pants out of his socks, a request that I refused. 

This snowflake landed in my 9-year-old daughter's hair. While the picture isn't perfect, the snowflake was. 

Recently at home, we've been talking about values and integrity. My children are 10, 9, and 6 years old, and like I learned from Stephen Covey back at Uni in the 90s, I've begun my parenting journey with the end in mind. I'm raising human beings with the intention that they grow as positive forces of love in this world.

Hopefully, I consistently model our morals and values, so they've been learning along the way, but now they are old enough to learn the words that accompany the daily actions that define us.

I asked them what our Value was about acceptance. Don't we value accepting others completely and lovingly as they are? As we talked about the unique aspects of their wardrobe choices (one of them barely pays any attention and throws on whatever she reaches first and the other has a rather quirky sense of style that reminds me of Punky Brewster), I could see them start to let go of their firm belief that I should "make" him change his style ways. If he loves it and feels good, I asked them, then why should he change anything? 

"Do you feel good about yourself when you're dressed like that?" I asked my adorable little guy. He absolutely beamed. "Yes!" Then that's good enough for me.

My daughters shrugged and laughed and just then, I noticed the snowflake that had landed in "Punky's" hair. It was a star! Another snowflake floated gently into her long, brown hair. It was perfect - like the cut-out clings we stick on our windows at Christmas. I had just enough time to snap a picture before the school bus appeared. 

As I walked back to the house, I reflected. Why is it so easy for us to respond with awe and wonder to the beauty and uniqueness of a snowflake? We celebrate the fact that no two are ever the same. School children are taught this in a way that feels magical and the knowledge fills us with delight. Why, then, don't we feel that about one another? We are each one of Nature's unique and perfect creations; as different and as beautiful as snowflakes. 

We never judge a snowflake, do we? Or ask it to change or conform to be like we are. Why do we do that to each other? Just for a day, I invite you to look at others the same way you would a snowflake - with awe and wonder. See each person for the perfect, magical, unique expression of Nature and humanity that they are.