It's time for another one of "Tamara's Happiness Tips!"

This is one that I wish everyone would accept and then apply and practice the tools to support this new belief.

Research in the fields of positive psychology and happiness shows that our external circumstances only influence 10% of our overall happiness! Yet, most of us are walking around thinking, "Well, if that (insert the weather, or the government, or their partner, or their boss, or their whatever...) changed, THEN I'd be happy.

But that's a myth folks, because no matter what changes outside of you, you are still you. A change in your response to external circumstances requires a change in your internal experience of them.

This is definitely one tip that is much easier said than done AND every single one of my clients experiences success in this area because they learn the tools to lower their perception of stress, increase their level of patience, and create and strengthen new neural pathways toward more authentically positive thinking (which, in turn, positively impacts their self-esteem). They commit to the practice and I hold them lovingly accountable until their new practice becomes a habit and they can hold themselves accountable.

"Yeah, but what are the practices and tools, Tamara?!!!" You may be asking. Well, what's right for you might not be the same as which tool is right for another person. I teach a variety of tools because every person is unique and therefore, so is what will work for them. You can book a free 30-minute session with me to help discover which will best serve you. I'd love to support you.

That said, nearly every client benefits from some form of meditation. Whether it's the Quick Coherence Technique that I frequently teach in my masterclasses (it's also on my YouTube channel), a 2-minute breath break a couple of times a day, or another form of meditation, guided or not, allowing a moment or two of stillness is the start of increasing the ability and skill of stilling the mind.

Want to try one right now? Check out my recent I Am meditation. Or, book that call with me (DM me now) and we'll find one that fits into your life right now.

Remember, you can be calmer, more present, and more peaceful in your life no matter what is going on around you. If it's possible for me, it's possible for you. It's just a practice.

Why Should You Hire Me?

Who am I and why you might consider hiring me…

I’m not a divorce coach, but I’ve helped a lot of people through the aftermath of their marriages ending.

I’m not a parenting coach, but I’ve helped many parents reduce their overwhelm and find joy in their relationships with their kids again (even adolescents and teens!!).

I’m not an “empowerment” coach, but I empower every single one of my clients to own what’s beautiful about them, what they could heal or release, and their part in creating a life they love.

I am a Certified Life Coach with decades of experience in:

• Yoga (currently in teacher training after 30 years of practicing!)

• Meditation (certified teacher and 10+ years of personal experience)

• Mindfulness

• Breathwork (comes with the meditation and yoga certifications and I’ve practiced various forms of breathwork for the past 12 years!)

• Self-Love (certified!)

• Happiness (certified!)

• Passion, Purpose, & Clarity (certified!)

• Human behavior, Psychology, Positive Psychology (Bachelor’s of Science with a focus in Family Studies and Community development with a psychology minor and currently taking a Positive Psych course to deepen my study and practice)

• Relationships - specifically healing from toxic marriages ending in divorce and healing what needs to be healed to move into a healthier future relationship. I’ve studied Non-Violent Communication and though I’m no expert (yet!), I practice it in my own relationships and share the basics with my clients.

• Parenting (specifically Conscious Parenting, Love & Logic, and Positive Parenting) - I taught Kindermusic for several years, working with parents and young children, then successfully made it through the adolescence of 3 of my own, and at least 2 are Neuro-Divergent/Gifted. Now they’re 14-18 and still love hanging out with me!

• LBGTQ+ - I’m a volunteer crisis counselor for The Trevor Project, Open-Hearted (some call it bi or Queer), and mom of 2 kids on the Rainbow Spectrum.

• Teens - I taught Enrichment classes to the kids at the International Academy (an International Baccalaureate program) with great success (for the kids - they slept better, stressed-less, decreased procrastination, and were measurably happier by the end of the 8 to 12-week sessions!!).

• Law of Attraction (certified!)

• Spirituality (I’m a recovering Catholic and have studied various religions and forms of spirituality. I even hosted a podcast for 2 years on the topic of spirituality without the guilt!)

• Ho ‘Oponopono (Self-Compassion and Self-Forgiveness practice)

• Stress-management

• Tapping (EFT)

• NLP

• Ministry (not the band, though I do enjoy them depending on my mood. I’m ordained)

• Group Facilitation

• Public Speaking

• Theatre

• Vocalist

• Human Being (I have occasionally needed to be reminded that I am, in fact, only human - this is a practice, too.)

I combine all of these different areas of study and my own life experience to create a holistic approach to healthy living in body, mind, and spirit. I love me some CBT (T! Not D! ) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and ACT (acceptance & commitment therapy) because it’s so vital to meet ourselves where we’re at and I am open to learning from my children and their therapists!

No, I don’t have a master’s or a doctorate. But I am devoted to learning, studying, observing, and helping. I have (probably too many) certifications and have started far more than I’ve finished.

I’ve lived in 3 different countries and cultures, so I also understand change and transition on a deep, personal level. I’ve been married (16y) to and divorced a French man (think dealing with cultural issues and miscommunications in a relationship) who is also a high-functioning alcoholic and emotionally abusive and was a single mom for 8 years before moving in with my partner 2 years ago.

I’ve worked with babies, toddlers, and young children to the oldest of our beautiful seniors (7 years in Senior Living).

And, perhaps most importantly, I have walked the path from insecurity and low self-esteem to a deeply loving relationship with myself. I can laugh at myself, fully enjoy my own company, and I truly am my own best friend (though I gratefully have several who are not me, too!). I am fun, silly, and serious.

I will hold space for you with such love and reflect your worthiness of love back to you until you believe it and feel it yourself for yourself!

I am ardently committed to self-study, compassionate coaching, and helping people bridge the gap from wishing to creating. From suffering and stuckness to healing and growth. From just getting through life to truly living it.

Every single one of my clients who sticks with the practices that I teach them creates deep, lasting positive change in their lives. And every single group that I speak to, even for just an hour, expresses hope and gratitude that they can make an impact in their own lives through what they learned.

Should you hire me? That’s up to you. But if you do, and you courageously commit to the process, life will open up and blossom for you.

#coachtam #aboutme #tamarazoner #personalgrowth #experience #yoga #breathwork #createalifeyoulove

He Dumped the Contents of our Closet on the Floor...

One time when we were kids, my dad came into the room my sister and I shared and he was ticked about our messy closet. Like seriously angry. He took every shelf out of our closet (there were 8 or 10 between us) and dumped them in the middle of our bedroom floor. It made a huge, gigantic pile of mess. We weren't allowed to leave the room until it was all cleaned up and in order.

Damn, right? But, guess what happened? We moved through that mess item by item, deciding what was worth keeping and what could be tossed. One thing at a time.

It took a little while because no positive change is instantaneous. It hurt a little because saying goodbye to things we've held onto for so long can stir up some grief, but in the end... it was glorious.

We put what we kept back on the shelves all neat and organized like. So much so that we were able to make an entire apartment community for our Barbies. Our closet became a playland that turned into hours of fun for us. And it never would have happened if not for that big, giant mess of our closet's contents in the middle of the floor.

Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and beautiful at the end.

Our minds are just like that closet and at this point in life, they are often pretty darn messy. My sister and I did not want to clean up that mess, but we did it together, had fun along the way, and were so happy and grateful for the result.

Working with me is like cleaning out a closet that you've avoided for years. I'm right there with you, helping you decide what to keep and what to release and we even have some fun along the way. Plus, the results? So, so good. You feel clearer, lighter, and excited about life again.

So, what are you waiting for? Book a Breakthrough Session with me. It's free and you're going to learn something that opens you, expands you, and may even have life-changing impact.

And I know that might be the very reason you haven't booked a call with me before. Because even thinking about change can feel hard and scary. Most human beings hate change and avoid change and there are biological and neurological reasons why. We can talk about why on the call.

I'll say it again: change is hard at first. Messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.

And you can do hard things.
Book your Breakthrough Session Here.
#lowerstress #selfcare #TimewithTamara #youareworthit

Is Life Feeling "Meh," Lately?

Is life feeling a little dull lately? A little "meh?" Like you're living in black and white and the color has seeped out of your experience?

I can remember a time when I thought, "Isn't there supposed to be more to life?"
When we're just schlepping our way through every day, just getting through, it doesn't feel good.

The heavy stuff feels heavier. Harder. Sadder. And maybe you're sick of it, like I was. And maybe, you're not. Maybe you'd just rather stay there in your own misery than do anything about it. Change is hard, I get it. And changing our own thoughts and behaviors is required if we want the world around us to change.

You can't just keep "getting through the day," every day until you die. Or, you can. But I know that there's a different way. One small, baby-step-of-a-change each day can lead to the colors returning to life. More moments of joy, fewer moments of pain. Deeper breaths, a little more ease, a sense of connection to Life again... it's possible for you. If you want to find out how. Send me a message. Let's chat. Or, register now for my free Masterclass, this Friday at 5pm EST, From Struggle to Serenity. Find out more here.

#wellbeing #coaching #lessstress #moreease#createalifeyoulove

Love or Fear?

I just finished cleaning the main level of my home. My partner, Mike, comes home after nearly 2-weeks on the road and I want him to come home to a clean, peaceful, clutter-free house that feels good to be in. Now, honestly, Mike probably wouldn't even notice if it wasn't "clean" (to MY standards) and he certainly wouldn't be upset if there was just as much pet hair on the rugs as there was before he left. But I care.

My big moment of awareness just now was noticing how good it felt to clean for him out of love instead of fear. When I was married, I had to make sure the house was ship shape and everything was in it's place multiple times a day or I'd have to deal with anger or the silent treatment, subtly-woven insults, and occasionally broken things. So, I was angry and resented my husband, my home, and even my kids because they were supposed to be perfectly in order, too.

It took years to release the trauma from a 15-year marriage to a highly controlling, angry, emotionally abusive, high-functioning alcoholic and today shows that there are still light layers of it hanging around. But they don't hurt anymore. When those moments pop up, it feels like relief and a victory. Because I've made healthier choices for myself. I've done deep work and it shows up in this peaceful, happy body and mind. It shows up in my partnership where there are two healthy humans doing their work separately and together.

One of the ways we keep ourselves stuck is by blaming our past and the people in it for our unhappiness. For the reasons why we can't be happy now or in a healthy relationship or a healthy body. But the past is behind us and we can always make new choices as we move forward.

If you're living from past pain, I know how to help you. I've done it and guided hundreds of clients to move out of the past and into today, plus, looking forward to create a different, happier, future. If it's possible for me, for them, then it is possible for you, too.

My group program's doors are still open. Let's walk through them together. DM me or visit my website now to sign up.

#healing #groupcoaching #support #divorce #parenting #selfcare

Are You Busy Wasting Time and Energy?

For the last 3 months I’ve been trying to solve an issue with my website’s pop-up/newsletter sign-up. I had two different pop-ups, two different newsletter sign-ups, and two different lists!!! Every time I sat down to write a newsletter, I tried again to figure out how to get rid of the one that was no longer serving my needs. Yet, no matter what I did or where I looked, it still popped up.

Now, I’m a smart cookie and I can usually figure things out. But I couldn’t seem to manage this one. So, finally, my partner walked into my office at just the right time. He’s well-versed in code and building or fixing websites. I mentioned this problem to him weeks ago, but never actually asked for him to look at it for me. Until that moment. 15-minutes later, my problem was solved.

15-minutes. After months of wasting my time and energy in an area that is not my expertise, he fixes it in 15-minutes.

Sometimes, we have to come to terms with the fact that we can’t do it all alone. Sometimes, we really do need to call in an expert. Like with websites… or happiness.

How many of you have spent years trying to manage your stress or think more positively, or simply be happier? Yet, year after year the same struggles pop up, defeating you and keeping you stuck.

Maybe it’s time for you to call in an expert.

I have a client, we’ll call her Lisa. Lisa came to me after years, decades even, of struggling with low self-esteem, holding onto and blaming events in the past for her present unhappiness, and anxiety around change. Not unusual, but definitely hurting her on a daily basis and hindering any possibility of the inner peace and well-being that is authentic happiness.

She called in an expert and in just months she was handling life better, coping with change more easily, and feeling better about herself. In a year, her happiness *score went from 37 - which is extremely low and essentially translates to having little or no experience of happiness in life - to 71!!! Which means having a “good measure” of happiness in her life!!! One year!!!

Imagine what your life could feel like one year from now? My clients notice the effects of learning and practicing new habits of happiness within days of starting coaching with me and in months their experience of life is transformed. They have more confidence, better sleep, deeper relationships, and are generally happier.

The path to greater joy, peace, and wellbeing isn’t necessarily easy and we aren’t taught how to “do” happiness… but it is a skill that can be learned. I would love to be the expert you hire to cut your time from problem identified to problem solved down to a fraction of the time that you could do it yourself!

Ready to experience more peace, ease, and joy in 2024? Let’s chat. My 9-month Radiant Happiness Rebirthed Group Coaching Program kicks off this month!!! Book a call with me to see if it’s a good fit for you and know that with effort, commitment, and expert guidance, a happier life is just around the corner.

* Every client I work with takes a Happiness Assessment to “score” their general level of happiness at the beginning and end of their coaching packages.

The Ripple Effect of Happy Parents on their Kids & the World

As parents, we all want to raise happy, healthy, and well-adjusted children. While this responsibility may seem daunting at times, there is a powerful tool that can significantly impact our children's lives: our own happiness. Numerous studies have highlighted the profound effect a happy parent can have on their kids, shaping their emotional well-being, behavior, and overall outlook on life.

I've seen it firsthand. Years ago, I was an angry woman, taking out my unhappiness on my young children, often in the form of a short-temper and a lot of yelling. The result was bickering children and tons of whining. When I began to take more responsibility for my happiness, and chose to work on taking better care of my physical and emotional health, and began speaking with loving kindness and respect to my kids, everything shifted. They got along better, listened to me, and responded with respect. Our family life became more harmonious overall. This has continued into their teen years and I am frequently grateful for the incredible relationships that I have with my 3 teenagers. They love spending time with me and we have fun as a family. 

Just the other day, 2 of my 3 kids were accompanying me to pick up my groceries just to spend a few extra minutes with me!!! I told them how lucky I felt to have such great kids and my youngest, who turns 14 in September, said, "That's because you're such a great mom!" I mean, come on!!!! It doesn't get much better than that. 

I have a firm belief that we can create a better world, one happier person at a time. It starts with each one of us individually and then it spreads; it's a ripple effect. Our impact on our kids extends far beyond us, so the more positive of an impact we have, the better, don't you think? 

Here are just 3 (of SO many!) ways that our happiness affects our children:

1. Emotional Well-Being: Children are highly attuned to their parents' emotions, often mirroring their feelings and reactions. When a parent embodies happiness and positivity, it creates a warm and nurturing environment at home. As kids witness their parents' contentment and joy, they learn that happiness is possible and a natural part of life. This fosters emotional well-being in children, promoting resilience and a positive outlook on life's challenges.

2. Enhanced Parent-Child Bond: The emotional bond between a parent and child is crucial for a child's development. A happy parent tends to be more emotionally available and responsive, creating a secure attachment with their children. This strong bond lays the foundation for healthy relationships, higher self-esteem, and better communication between parent and child. When you start practicing happiness in their younger years and form these healthy bonds, it creates the foundation for solid, secure & respectful relationships with your kids through the hormonal and often tumultuous teen years!

3. Reduced Stress: Parenting can be challenging, and stress is an inevitable part of the journey. However, happy parents are better equipped to manage stress effectively. By practicing the skills and tools of happiness, parents cultivate patience and composure, reducing the likelihood of parental burnout and creating a calmer and more harmonious family environment. Plus, as we show our kids to manage stress, they learn vital techniques and tools to get them through to adulthood and beyond.

The effect of a happy parent on their kids is profound and reaches far beyond the household. A parent's happiness sets the tone for the entire family, influencing their children's emotional development, behavior, academic & social success, and overall well-being. By prioritizing their own happiness and emotional health, parents can create a supportive and loving home environment, fostering positive growth and empowering their children to lead fulfilling lives. Remember, as parents, our happiness is a precious gift we can give to our children and ourselves.

If you’re ready to boost and build your own happiness, join me for a free, LIVE, 3-day Training to lower stress and increase joy Augst 7 -9!! Live in my private Facebook group OR you can join me in the Zoom Room!